To Love The Impossible
by Rin RavenIce
Summary: Theres a person at Garden with a crush on Rinoa Heartilly. They've been watching her from afar for a while now...the whole time their love just grew deeper. Who is this secret admirer? Will Rinoa want to be with them?


To Love The Impossible

I sat quietly in a corner of the cafeteria watching a group of girls at a table near me. I slowly sipped on my coffee as I admired each one of them, unique in their own way.

Selphie Tilmitt, a sweetheart and a gentle soul girl. She's willing to do anything for anybody. A great friend when you need one and the best partier around. Selphie's a little on the hyper side though. I don't think I would be able to keep up with her.

My eyes then move to the blonde next to her. Everybody admired her. She even had her own fan club called "The Treppies." I envied how easily people got along with her. All she had to do was smile and they were under her spell. But with us being colleagues…well, we could never be. It would compromise our positions here at Garden. Quistis Trepe and I were just not meant to be together.

I let my eyes drift over to the third girl at the table. My gaze locked with a set of deep chocolate brown eyes staring right back at me. She studied me for what seemed like an eternity before looking away. I breathed a sigh of relief when she left me alone.

Ever since I met her I haven't been able to keep my eyes off her. At first I kept denying my feelings for her. Overtime I came to accept the fact that I was in love with Rinoa Heartilly, and there was nothing I could do about it. As of right now her heart belonged to Squall Leonhart. I could never come between those two. Squall is my good friend after all. I wouldn't want to ruin the friendship I have with him. But I feel so strongly for Rinoa.

"That's it," I muttered to myself, "I'm going to tell her how I feel if it's the last thing I do."

I stood up and took two steps towards her table and…I froze. In a split second I turned and dashed out of the room. I could feel her gaze upon me as I ran off to hide.

I only stopped running when I reached the safety of my dorm room. I leaned up against the door and slid to the floor, tears forming in my eyes.

"It's not fair," I cried softly. "Why did I have to fall in love with the most impossible person. She'll never love me back."

I must have jumped three feet into the air when a knock came at my door. I quickly wiped the tears from my face and called out to the person on the other side.

"Who is it?" I managed to choke out.

"It's Rinoa…Are you okay in there? You looked pretty upset when you left the cafeteria."

I slowly opened the door and motioned for her to come in. She took a seat on the edge of my bed and patted her hand next herself.

"Come and sit. Whatever is bothering you, you can tell me about it."

I hesitantly sat next to Rinoa and stared at the floor for an eternity before trying to speak.

"Well, it's just that…ummm…"

I shifted my gaze from the floor to her beautiful dark eyes, which were staring right into my soul.

"Go on," she urged.

I took her small soft hand into mine and pushed all my fears aside. I was finally going for it.

"I'm in love with you Rinoa."

Before she really could react, I pulled her into a deep and passionate kiss. Funny thing is she didn't pull away immediately. She kissed back for a brief moment. Scared, Rinoa finally pushed me away and stood up. She began to pace back and forth in front of me, nervously fixing her clothes and playing with her hair.

"Are you okay," I said, startling her.

"I don't know. Are you sure that you…" She stammered.

"Very much so. I'm sorry that I kissed you like that. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Have you always…"

"No. I knew it for a while. I only recently accepted it." I answered.

Rinoa leaned against the door and put a hand to her forehead; a gesture I've seen Squall do many a time before.

"Rinoa, are you sure you're going to be okay," I asked.

She looked back up at me with the strangest look and walked back over to me.

"Kiss me again….please?"

She leaned into me and I kissed her one more time, running my hands through her silken hair this time. She slowly pulled away and looked me square in the eyes and sighed as she walked back over to the door.

"This isn't right. I love Squall…don't I?"

"What do you feel right now," I whispered.

"Confusion, anger…I'm scared too. I don't know what to think right now. When you kissed me this strange feeling overcame me. It's like nothing I ever felt before…but…"

"But what?"

"But I know this isn't right. I do love Squall…I know I do."

I turned away from her in shame. What I had done was wrong.

"I'm really sorry Rinoa. I should've never had said anything."

"Oh Xu…"

My heart skipped a few beats with the sound of her voice saying my name.

"Xu, I'm not sure if I could ever feel the same way about you. Maybe one day I could…but not now."

She looked at me with questioning eyes to see if I had understood her.

"It's okay Rin. I knew all that already. But it was worth a try I guess." I sighed.

There was a long silence before Rinoa spoke up again.

"I think I better be going. See you later Xu."

She got half way out the door when I called out to her.

"Rinoa? I hope you know that even though you don't love me, I'll still love you."

She stayed just long enough to hear my last words before rushing down the hall.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't the way I am, but then if I wasn't that way, then I wouldn't be me. So in the end everything works out for the best. Maybe one day I'll get the one I love…

The End


End file.
